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Shadow

[	userinfo	\|	livejournal userinfo	]
[	archive	\|	journal archive	]

[Apr. 1st, 2006|10:18 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	My Room	]
[	mood	\|	whatevs	]
[	music	\|	ICP	]

is this a...yes i do believe it is a post! WTF? must be feeling weird or sumthin...anywhos it has been one of those weeks ya kno fucking burned myslef like 5 times got a black eye sprained my wrist and pretty much got stood up.....i now saw bold and loud FUCK THE MALL AND ALL THE SHIT THAT GOES ON AT IT! i am with a-dog here 100% fuck it all no mall no bowling no more bulshit! it is all retartted. you would think that by now i would be used to it ya know but nah i find someone i really lime and they turn ouot to be too nice to let me down the normal way so they just become a completly different person ya kno....i got more stress than i can deal with at this point and hey bring on the piss.....there are two good things that have happened to me this week...i got a new game and i talked to Ashley my #1,2,and 3 best girl friend and the only fe-mal who knows me, gets me, and still loves me

yes i am the all singing all dancing crap of the world!

Fluffs

1 comment|post comment

[Nov. 18th, 2005|10:19 pm]

[	mood	\|	cold	]
[	music	\|	All That I've Got - The Used	]

Hello My Frinds

I know who reads this (for the most part) and i am going to sya what i am about to say like nobody reads it!
I am Not saying anything in this post to hurt anyone or make anyone feel bad!

Allot has been going on in my life and my mind latley. To make it short i miss allot from the past but want a good future

For starters i have the bestfriend i could ask for Adam, You are my bestfriend, My brother Without you i would be lost! i also have some of the best friends i can ask for they are crazy but caring and for that i am lucky. I have people telling me haow great of a guy i am and how much they miss talking to me (amanda and stef) i even have the weirdos saying how hot i am (bonnie). and i have the greatest memmories with alot of people. But to know what is going on in my life is a complexity. I miss Amanda. I miss Melissa just as much if not more. I have the Biggest mothe fucking crush on Beth(a girl i go to school with) and she dosn't see it. Even if she did she has a boyfriend and well i am not worht much :-)

I was on the phone wiht Melissa thurday night from like 11:30 till around 4am just talking about the past. she was in tears a few times. I told her Something that to this day only she i and adam know and it has to do with the sunday me and her split up. she is shocked that i am talking to her. She broke my heart. i was a fucked up kid there for a bit. But so did Amanda and i was a fucked up kid for a while then too. but i came around i always do, and everytime my heart becoms even harder to break.

I have said to all of you at one point that my heart cannot break, or that i am emotionless. well i am saying right here and now that i am wrong. but i am the most emotionally tough person you will meet. exept for perhaps megan. I can be hurt and that is why i don't like putting myself out in the open. if you want to know what is going on with me you have to pry and make me trust you. i need to believe that you care enough to know what is going on. i can take anything anybody hands me. while i am around people i am tough when i am alone i am not as tough.

As of right now i feel unwanted. i am not sure why becasue i clearly am wanted in one way or another but i still feel lost.
This song by The used is a grwat explaination

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
I sleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed catch me I..

I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed catch me I...

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got!

So deep that it didn't even bleed catch me
So deep that it didn't even scream fuck me

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
and it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got

So yes that is why i am feeling down latley.

Anyways adam talked to Beth Thursday night and she said that i can do better. that got me to thinking How?
The last two girls i have dated left me for another person. she is dating some guy and i didn't even know it
what if i can't do better?
i don't know every gilr i like just dosn't seem to have any intrest in me as anything more than a friend (ha i spelled it right)

that is what has been on my mind latley thank you for caring enough to read this far
To my friends i thank and love you all

Justin
A.K.A
Fluffy

2 comments|post comment

Living in the past...

[Nov. 14th, 2005|11:49 pm]

[	mood	\|	Good/bad/weird/ missing it	]
[	music	\|	Nymphetamine - Cradle Of Filth	]

I want it back
Not what you think adam
i want somehitng new
but the same old thing

IT'S amazing ready figure this out bizniches

B-M-M-A-D Vv007 yeah yeah Show Your T.I.T.T.I.E.S. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

i am in a really umm good/bad/weird/WOAAAAH mood

Adam is my best friedn and he won't tell me stuff TEAR lol ha ha like i cry
i kinda want to talk to some of my own friends again like Lee Amanda And my little highschool fridne again! Vv007

Peace
Fluffy

The new "old" me

[Nov. 8th, 2005|03:09 pm]

[	mood	\|	Whatever	]
[	music	\|	White America	]

I will act like i want
I will do what i want
and i do not give a damn what anyone thinks of me
if you have a problem with me then go away i do not want your shit
if i do not like you and you do not know why i wouldn't ask casue i will probobly not talk to you
i am moving on with my life and thoses who are in the past will most likley stay there
Goodbye

so anyways nothing has really happened recently the most exiting thing that has happened is i got some new t-shirts.

yeah so my spring semester scudual is way better i only got class three days a week and if i don't want to deal with anything i don't lol shweet

Oh yeah i am on a HUGE Eminem kick

Peice

[Nov. 2nd, 2005|12:36 pm]

[	mood	\|	bouncy	]
[	music	\|	Homiez - ICP	]

Hokay so i will start this party by saying anyone who dosn't like Adam, Cassie, Adam & Cassie together me or me and my bald ass head CAN FUCK OFF. If you still don't like it then i WILL SLIT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING THROAT. While you are bleeding from the throat on the floor i will piss on your face and stop caring.
BTW fat white cuntwhores who want to be black and talk shit about people are just like the Arabs NOBODY LIKES YOU AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BE MURDERED BY A HATE CRIME! HA HA HA HA i giggled

Anywhos....Party Sunday sucked my massive hairy ass and part of my right nut. we got invited out of pity or something like that...didn't want to be there went to be nice FUCK THAT so we left (at least the people who mattered) we went to crossgates played the coolest game of lets not answer our celly phonos! I WON!!

Saw zoro want to blow shit up now! ha ha ha shit happened. Fate sux. Wipe it off!!!!

no net=me Noob

People suck my ass i hate them stand by my brother and his peice of red ass! Vvoo7

Just got attacket for saying red ass so i am sorry

hhhhhhhhhhhhh

i want stuff that i can't have ha ha ha

other stuff

beat a game

CHINEESE ON FRIDAY

wheres the beef?

So i will end this shit with a FUCK YOU and have a nice day

the only good seasons are spring fall and winter NOBODY LIKES SUMMER ANYMORE

I WIN

ADam says goose for dinner at thanksgiving...enough for all

5 comments|post comment

I am Done	[Oct. 24th, 2005\|07:30 pm]
Last post prolly...shit has gotten weird REAL weird...i am a popular boy aparently lol didn't relize i was so well liked..any who i use myspace now so yeah
link	post comment

[Oct. 11th, 2005|09:41 pm]

[	mood	\|	blah	]
[	music	\|	Nymphetamine - Cradle Of Filth	]

Okay so the laydown on the past few days. I have spent Monday and today working ym ass off on trying to get over some harsh realities. Melissa left me, Sorry Dumped me. Why? i really don't Know... i think it was fro Jessica...she says it was casue her feelings changed (man that was quick shoulda heard us friday night) but whatever i have another reason but that is for me to think upon and melissa if she really cares(i doubt it) when she dumped me i said sum stupid shit i said she was being just like amanda....which is true in a way but still un-called for. i apologized but she really didn't give a damn. so yes me and her are dun she hurt me bad and don't care but i can live wiht that (kinda have to huh)

SO anyways i got into work today and teh first thing out of Wendys mouth is "why arn't you smiling fucker?" and so i told her "my girlfriend dumped me and that i think it was for a chick" and she goes "so?.....why not go for a threesum?" i said "she doesn't want a thing to do with me" so Wendy goes "Oh well i guess now you can play the feild" and all i could do was lagh even tho i didn't want to

Later that night Dave goes to me "I know why she left you for a chick!" "OH?" i asked he goes "yeah didn't lick her pussy good enough!" and i simple told him "wasn't allowed she dun like that" so he goes THEN WHY IS SHE WITH A CHICK?......what are the double dildoing each other or what?" and again i laghed even tho i didn't want to!

SOOOOOO yeah i guess i should play the feild for a while not really gunna play hard casue i just dun feel like it.

It just sucks knowing that not only did i lose a gf but i also lost a friend! But the bright sidde to all of this is she is now happy not to have any "baggage" and now her friends can be happy too casue they didn't like me neways!

3 comments|post comment

[Oct. 9th, 2005|04:51 pm]

[	mood	\|	FUCK OFF	]
[	music	\|	Face to Face - Sevendust	]

I have a greeeeeeat feeling that i have lost a game that i wasn't evn playing in

i may need to jump ship before i get pushed off

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

GOD FUCKING DAMNNIT

[Oct. 9th, 2005|11:35 am]

[	mood	\|	scared	]
[	music	\|	Going Away To college - Blink-182	]

Just Shoot Me Now!

losing	[Oct. 9th, 2005\|01:06 am]
So SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO yeah updaedt Analize and inturpret ANAL SEX and intruieryuer
link	post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 3rd, 2005\|11:50 pm]
THE RING IS BACK BITCHES
link	post comment

[Oct. 3rd, 2005|10:42 pm]

[	mood	\|	AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH	]
[	music	\|	Numb - Linkin Park	]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK FUCK

CAN'T GO FUCKING RIGHT NOTHING EVER NO FUCKING WHAT THE

THIS FUCKING SUCKS MY ASS

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HATE THIS MORE THAN ANY

OF YOU CAN EVER FUCKING

KNOW!!!!!!!!

2 comments|post comment

[Oct. 3rd, 2005|07:45 pm]

[

mood

|

numb

]

Well so i guess the final word is that me n meliss are taking a break. i don't know what i want and she dosn;t know what she wants. what i do kno is that i do carea bout her more than i have cared about anyone ever.but i got waaaaaaaaaaay too much on my plates right now and she was totally cool about it she said it didn't bother her but i don;t entirley believe that....if you wanna talk to me i'll be around ya kno i gotta look out for people
:P

Peice

1 comment|post comment

WTF	[Oct. 2nd, 2005\|09:18 pm]
Why don't people fucking trust me....they want to know how i feel but won't talk a word to me i mean isn't that the basof everything TRUST! how does shit work if there is no Trust?
link	post comment

Maybe Adam was right....

[Sep. 27th, 2005|10:56 pm]

[	mood	\|	cranky	]
[	music	\|	There Is - Boxcar racer	]

Maybe Adam was right i am a shitty boyfriend

I just can't win at all i am either stuck with nasty thoughts or people pissed at me

People don't like me...or rather like other people better than me WHY Should i care unless

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUUUUUUCK

FUCK

I CAN"T FUCKING WIN

3 comments|post comment

[Sep. 27th, 2005|09:43 pm]

[	mood	\|	bouncy	]
[	music	\|	Nymphetamine - Cradle Of Filth	]

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said
Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and
I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's and ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me
I'll think about the times
She kissed me after class
And she put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

vVO0T my song to melissa my chaos princess

[Sep. 22nd, 2005|11:45 pm]

[	mood	\|	chipper	]
[	music	\|	There Is - Boxcar racer	]

I <3 Melissa

2 comments|post comment

[Aug. 30th, 2005|06:30 pm]

[	mood	\|	bored	]
[	music	\|	Cradle Of Filth	]

4 comments|post comment

My life as of now

[Aug. 26th, 2005|12:19 am]

[	mood	\|	cranky	]
[	music	\|	The Used, Him, Other Shit	]

Well this summer has been over all pretty boring and un eventfull. i really didn't do to much except work sleep and hang out the the Children. my car has broken down now Twice in a month and i am really getting pissed off so i am just looking at getting a new car! idk what kind or for how much but i need a new one.

So i have taken to shooting videos and making movies out of them with my friends and they are really funny and shit and i will be making a web site soon devoted to promoting them. it is going to kick ass

School starts on the 6th for me and i will be basicly starting a whole new life one that involves alot of NEW things and i will not be holding on to some of the OLD things. i am going to be a chef i swear my life on it! whether i go on TV or open a restaurant or write books is up in the air but i am going to make a name for myself and hopefully have a great cooking partner next to me!

Other wise my life is really boring and shit so i really have nothing more to say

Bye >~J!NX~

[Aug. 21st, 2005|03:39 am]

[	mood	\|	calm	]
[	music	\|	Thoughts by the invisible children	]

"Thoughts"
By The Invisible Children

This Road is Dead
Lit street lights ahead
Lost in my mind
These thoughts make me blind

I can't Stop Thinking
This kinfe keeps on sinking
DEEPER in my heart
DEEPER in my heart
STOP MY THOUGHTS

Around the corner
Pick up the phone and
call home
ain't coming home tonight
Don't wanna start a fight, Goodbye

I can't Stop Thinking
This kinfe keeps on sinking
DEEPER in my heart
DEEPER in my heart
STOP MY THOUGHT

Lost In thought
just answers i want
Just a troubled kid
No money, No Plan
My life has slid under

I can't Stop Thinking
This kinfe keeps on sinking
DEEPER in my heart
DEEPER in my heart
STOP MY THOUGHTS

I can't Stop Thinking
This kinfe keeps on sinking
DEEPER in my heart
DEEPER in my heart
STOP MY THOUGHTS

I' LOST
RESCUE ME
FROM MY THOUGHTS

I hold this song very close to me for reasons few know!

1 comment|post comment

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